Two months ago, August 13th to be exact, I went to my regular doctor. I had been stung by something. While I was there I asked to have a spot on my chest checked out. It was about the size of a pencil eraser, flat, red and flaky. The doctor asked if I had ever been to a dermatologist. No, never had a reason to go. Well, apparently I now had a reason to go. I'm freaking out about this red, scaly thing. What is it? Am I gonna die? Why do I have to see a dermatologist? Can't the doctor just give me something to put on it? Yeah, I'm like that.
Since I'm going to die because of this horrid little red spot, I just know I'm going to have to see a dermatologist immediately. The doctor's office will call them. They will say, "Send her over to us immediately! This cannot wait!" The doctor sets the appointment up for me. October 1st. Seriously? It's August 13th, I'm dying from some terrible red spot and the earliest they can see me is October 1st? I just hoped I would live that long.
August turned into September. Red spot disappeared. What the what? Should I keep the appointment? The dreaded spot could return. I finally decided that since I have two spots on my face that have a tendency to get scaly from time to time, I should just keep the appointment. September turned into October and it was time to go.
Oh stupid, innocent me. I wore a polo shirt so I could unbutton down to where the spot was. The other two spots are on my face - nothing to remove there. They call me back.
Where is the area in question?
Gone.
Don't worry, it'll be back.
Well, I wasn't worried until you said that!
Meanwhile, go ahead and take your clothes off. The doctor and his assistant will be in soon to do a full body check for moles and abnormalities.
At this point I'm not upset about moles and abnormalities. I'm worried about the fact that I haven't shaved my legs in, well, a while. I don't know this man! Why, out of an office of four women and one man, I have to see the man? Panic mode!!!! No longer worried about disappearing red spot. No longer worried about spots on face. I guess it must have shown on my face. Or maybe it was the constant babbling, "But I haven't shaved my legs. I haven't shaved my legs. Do you know how long it's been since I've shaved my legs? I can't do this because I haven't shaved my legs!" The nurse informed me, if I was uncomfortable with the idea of this type of examination, that it could be rescheduled for later and they would just check the areas in question.
IF I WAS UNCOMFORTABLE?
Hello? Didn't you just catch the part about me NOT shaving my legs?
In the end, I kept my pants on! Spot on chest was looked at - told not to worry. Whew! Spots on face were precancerous - froze those suckers off. Life is good. But now I have to think about shaving my legs...in November...when it's colder. Who shaves their legs in November?
You can bet I will!
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